Moronic product of the week.

Meet the Love Bottle.

This is a product I saw being hawked on Treehugger last week and if there's a more glaring example of that site's being out to lunch I can't think of it. The Love Bottle is being peddled as a sustainable way to carry around your own water. The bottle's made from recycled glass, so I have to give them that. However, the idea behind the Love Bottle is this, "Did you know that words and pictures have energy and water is affected by that energy?" That's taken directly from their website. I had to read it a couple of times to make sure I had read properly. It's almost a treat to see that kind of jaw-dropping stupidity. Almost.

I nosed round on their web site and sure enough, they're committed to the insane fiction that water may be imbued with an aim, and in this situation the purpose is "love." Apparently, the employee bees who make the bottles whisper sweet nothings while the bottles are in manufacturing. Then that love magic stays with the bottles for the relaxation in their useful lives. I do not know what bothers me greater about that. That someone can make this kind of declare without a project or that silly humans will purchase a product that makes this sort of declare.

On a deeper stage, wherein did the concept that you have to lug around your own consuming water come from? This bottle-of-water-in-each-hand-phenomenon came out of nowhere over the last two decades and seems to be the unholy result of American hypochondria, American self-indulgence and a bottled water industry all to willing to trip the ones less-than-admirable tendencies all of the way to the financial institution. Prior to the popularization of water as a beverage, who carried around beverages? When you wanted a drink of water, you poured your self a glass from the faucet and that turned into that. Ahhh, cool easy water with the twist of a tap. Now there may be a few real magic for you. If you were at paintings or at the gymnasium, you went to the water fountain and drank some water. Gee, water fountains. Remember them? But this is too simple I think and how can you're making gobs of money from a public aid?

So I suppose my big beef with the Love Bottle is twofold. Few things go through me like non-scientific and soft-headed claims regarding the miraculous properties of anything, let alone water. The other thing about it that bothers me is that it further spreads the idea that you need to carry water with you at all times. If the Love Bottle people were interested in a sustainable practice, they wouldn't be adding to an already wasteful idea. Behind all of their fuzzy-headed claims of the paranormal, the Love Bottle's real intentions become obvious when you see the $20 price tag. Aha! The myth of altruism gets exposed again. $20 for a glass bottle. Please.

I have an idea. A billion people in the world don't have access to clean and safe drinking water of any kind let alone magic water in a Love Bottle. But there's a product called the Life Straw that's a solution to that problem. The Life Straw is a hand held water filter that works like a straw. To call it a life save for 1/6th of the world's population is an understatement. If you're tempted to buy a love bottle because you think you're doing something to "save the earth." Stop right there. You can sponsor a Life Straw for $15 through the Rotary Club of Fort Lauderdale and in so doing, you'll be saving a life. Several lives in fact. That will leave you with five dollars and with that, you can buy the nicest water glass you can get your hands on. Leave it on your desk and use it every time you want a drink of water.

Then, if you want to witness a real miracle and the best instance of a idea influencing an item do this. Hold up your proper hand. Wiggle your index finger. Hey! That's all the miracle you want.

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