Merry Christmas Anxiety (maybe?)
Today I should be sharing a Christmas Home Tour. Which isn't done. Let alone staged and photographed and edited and shared. Tagg broke almost all the ornaments from our tree a few weeks ago and our small little fake tree doesn't look quite right when not stuffed with decoration. We have a few wreaths up because my daughter's school sold them as a fundraiser. I'm so glad I purchased several. They are perfect. But seasonal decor is expensive and I'm still saving up for curtains that I'll want year-round.
Today I should be showing off a pile of perfectly wrapped presents under our tree. I got just two done yesterday before I was called to the next thing. I'm so thankful Santa doesn't wrap. I'm having buyers remorse over all of the presents I bought. They weren't enough. Could have been more thoughtful. I never did place that order for pictures of the kids to give the grandparents and great grandparents. Our family blurb book is still not done this year either.
Today I should be sharing my favorite holiday recipes. But I'm drinking coffee and skipping breakfast and will probably give my kids hot dogs for lunch. I'm okay with that. My inlaws will be here for Christmas Eve dinner and Christmas morning and it never crossed my mind that we should be planning ahead for that. Sharing a special meal. In fairness, my husband and mother in law handle these things. And did, months ago. We're having beef tenderloin and roasted potatoes with asparagus and breakfast casserole the next morning.
Today I should be sharing our favorite elf on the shelf or other favorite holiday tradition. But we don't have any yet. Does building a gingerbread house and playing with the nativity set count? Baby Jesus and the angel have loved riding on Jake's pirate ship and the donkey has been driving the school bus. Are we the only family with small children who don't have an elf? Will our kids even care or remember that we did specific things?
I do this. Before big things, I cling to order. If you ask if I'm stressed over the holidays I will easily smile and say no. I don't feel stressed. But my head is full. And I'm feeling anxious that my new 2014 day planner with a notes section starts in January and I have things I need to write down today. So instead of focusing on what I have left to do in the next two days I am planning a larger than life trunk show cocktail party for spring and organizing the kids' sock drawers and buying twin size sheets for a bed Tagg neither owns nor is ready to sleep in? Deep breathe.
Christmas feels like a big deal this year. I know, celebrating Jesus' Birth is a big deal every year. But overnight I have two people dependent on me to make it magic. They will wake up the day after tomorrow and this will be the first Christmas Wells might remember. Did Santa fulfill her little sugar plum dreams? Did mommy and daddy decorate with enough lights and tinsel to make her world shine? Should we do something fancy or stick with our regular every day cheerios for breakfast? Will she notice that Tagg's train table is larger than life and her pile doesn't add up? Tagg's getting a train table. Nothing else will matter to this little choo-choo man. He'll be over the moon.
Please tell me I'm not the only one that struggles with this? It's hard to slow down and enjoy the holidays for some people. I feel like I've slowed down too much and missed an opportunity to make this season the best one yet.
I'm officially signing off this morning for the holiday! I hope all of you enjoy some quiet happiness with your loved ones this week.
Merry Merry.