Not-so-quick Update

Hey pals!

I experience like I've been long past forever and we've got a lot to catch up on.

Sorry to keep you ready on my terrifi trip to Nashville and fill you in on a tiny update examine this vintage put up for a hint however I'm busy looking after the world's sweetest patient these days.

Wow, the day past turned into hard.

I'm prepared for a drink.

Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for all of your sweet words about our incredible BabyGirl. Her surgery went well and we have the medical teams and staff at MUSC to thank for handling our baby with such care. For those of y'all who are new followers, our BabyGirl was diagnosed with Craniosynostosis at birth and needed corrective surgery to allow her brain room to grow properly.

You can read greater about that right here, here, and here.

I think it was tremendously harder emotionally this go around. Which I wasn't expecting.

Last time I changed into so worried about her being put below anesthesia at her age and size, most effective 7 weeks and still beneath 10lbs.

But to be sincere, I changed into an exhausted new mother and my challenge for her got here inside the immediately.

What will make her stop crying? When did she last eat? What time should she go down for a nap? Is her diaper wet? How much has she pooped today? Is it time to feed her again? How do I pee with a baby in my arms? Will I ever sleep again? Will I ever figure out what it is that she wants?

Worrying about her skull being cracked open seemed like the perfect time to make her well-being someone else's concern. Even if just for a short time. I know that sounds crazy, but I think some of y'all might know what I mean.

So this time, when they took us back to pre-op and she cried and cried and cried and looked at me like "wtf" I knew she wasn't just being a fussy newborn I knew she wanted her breakfast. I finally know what my child needs, pretty much every time, and it broke my heart to withhold it from her. Her surgery was pushed back an hour because another baby, in the NICU, needed our surgeon to save their child's life. It felt wrong to begrudge another mother her child's life because it meant my child missed their breakfast, and now their nap as well. How trite. And yet, I couldn't explain that to my child. She looked at me and did her spirit fingers over and over and over willing me to understand what she needed. I felt so connected to her and it was so hard not to fix the situation for her. It was her first lesson in knowing that her mother can't fix everything or give her everything she needs. And it made me cry.

They had a tough time getting one of the springs out so her surgical procedure took a bit bit longer than expected.

This made the ready room sense shakier than a turbulent flight.

I recognise now that matters do not continually training session nicely just due to the fact you'll them to.

I recognize that simply because a person is in God's hands, it would not suggest that he leaves them right here with us.

I know that handiest God makes a decision who's he equipped to name domestic.

My thoughts have been complete of those truths as we waited.

And that turned into new for me, I'm a positive character and don't let the unsure fill my head.

But I did the day prior to this.

When they brought us back to the PACU I heard my baby wailing even before I could see her. I stepped ahead of the nurse and followed that horrible sound behind the curtain to find my sweet BabyGirl jump from a nurses arms into mine and nestle her head in my shoulder. She thrashed and wailed and moaned, at that point crying was an understatement, in my arms for quite a while as her nurse fumbled to push morphine into her IV.

Yet it turned into the great she's ever felt in my hands.

Even as her puffy sweaty self rolled medicinal ointment throughout my shoulder and chest, and as she threw up all over herself and me, and cried unhappy little tears into my neck assembly my own tears that would not prevent coming down my face, it become the excellent I've ever been.

The saddest, but the happiest.

She slept in her personal crib ultimate night.

All.Night.Long.

In truth, she awakened happy and Matthew and I played through her aspect all morning until she changed into ready for her morning nap.

Which is why this post is late, but I'm certain y'all understand.

PS-I even have approximately one thousand million emails to seize up on, so don't worry that is on my time table for this weekend!